Tuesday, June 3, 2008

What Is A Turd?

Ok, I am here with my kiddos in sunny Colorado, for an extended stay, really enjoying myself. Well, sis and I made a rash decision to gather up this herd of kids and go "out" today. Oi. Seems like we got into the car about 10:00 a.m., not bad for 2 moms vs. 5 kids. We went multiple places, and all in all, the kids were great, you know, trailing along behind us dragging their fingers across everything in their path. It was good.

Towards the end of this adventure, the melt down had begun with the littlest one, so there was a feeling of frenzy to get back to home base. Lo and behold, there was a train, parked, or nearly parked across the "short cut" to get back to the house. So we do a U and zoom down to the nearest crossing, and we have about 30 seconds to cross the tracks, but this car in front of us seemed rooted to the spot. The cacophony of screams whines and cries was nearing a crescendo when Sis says, "WHY WON'T SHE MOVE??" and I say, "Because she's a TURD!!" The following exchange could be heard above the din between Abby and her cousin:
Abby: "Hee hee, did you hear my mom say 'turd?'"
Eden: "What is a turd?"
Abby: "It's a tiny green slimy thing that comes out of a frog's butt. At least that's what my Uncy Duncy says. Personally, I think it's just little pooplets."

Alas, all of the young innocent children in the minivan are now somewhat versed in the "ins and outs" of life. Bwah.

Monday, June 2, 2008

What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

Dude. Seriously, I cannot believe the level/s of technical difficulties that I have experienced in the past month. If you are acquainted with me via the Internet, real life, over the phone, or really in any way at all, you will know that I have had multiple failures of the technical nature. Of course, I really cannot even complain about Hotmail locking me out because ---- I was warned, by multiple people, "Get G-Mail" they said, "You won't regret it..." "Trust me. Hotmail sucks, you'll be sorry..." Many people, many different comments, same content. And yet, I was accused of... "being involved in illegal activities" via hotmail. Nice. What do they think I was doing? Oh. Yeah. I forgot about my online strip tease business, and my pyramid scheme business, and my Spam Business, because God knows there is so much money in spamming and so many people are such dumb asses to click on the link because "your Paypal account has been locked..." Puh-leez. duh.

Hotmail aside, my computer also crashed. My new Moto-Q crashed. Maybe I played a little too much "bubble breaker." Who knows? And the latest? This is a new one. Sprint turned off my phone number today. Yeah. They TURNED OFF MY PHONE NUMBER. I've had this phone number 5 or 6 years, and today, they decided to turn it off.

So, this age is supposed to be so convenient. I'm thinking it might just be easier to move to the Arctic Circle, forget about cell phones, the Internet, computers, e-mail, and get back to nature? nah. ha.